I saw Sage today, I left him a qr code on our blog because if my parents stumble across it, they won't know how to interpret it. I couldn't stay long, dad was working from home and he thought that I was in class.
We didn't talk much, there wasn't a lot that we could say - he was fuming at feeling so useless and I felt guilty. I mean, these are my parents, I feel responsible for their actions. Why couldn't I have been more open with them throughout the years about my thoughts on sexuality, maybe they would be more understanding now. But at the same time, they have never been the sort of parents interested in a child's musings. They wish I had told them earlier to nip things in the bud. I'm just something that needs to be fixed.
It was nice, though, getting to be with him and hold his hand. Maybe you never know how much you love someone until you lose them. Right now, there's such an aching in my chest, I feel like it's going to cave in. I would cry, but I'm so tired of crying.
